MASTER GARDENER?
Has it become time to challenge that rank?
As the son of a German "Master Cabinet" maker I have always been astonished at the ease that Northwest gardeners manage to become “Masters" of a field, I have worked decades in, to attain the same ranking.
Most martial arts such as Judo and Karate have benchmarks for such “belts” or accomplished achievements. Aikido, I struggled with, same with Tai-Chi. It is my understanding that even the flower arts such as Ikebana have similar rankings. They are all standardized, to be learned, exhibited in shows and tested upon by curmudgeons such as my self.
Given the opportunity to practice latinic warfare on box store garden employees, this is one of the joys of my life -- but mostly I am left gasping. Nematodes, that they are selling in Feb. freezing weather. I complement them on their stocking but question the timing. The clerk answers – “What are Nematodes?” Comments made to plants that are wilting, or might be needing freeze protection. “Ya bud, That’s a problem, fur sure.”
I view these ignoramuses as being totally unredeemable. That said, I expect more of those participants in gardening who usually are intelligent and subscribe to the “MASTER GARDENER” badge.
These people should be avoided, or at best upgraded upon their weight or rank. Not wanting to get into percentage of body fat-- I still believe that their level of training or experience in gardening should be put to the test.
The criteria might be of accomplishments or simply a matter of political survival within the club. Being a possible V.P. of my Bonsai club I have come to see how tenuous that type of gardener Wassail test might be. Requirements should therefore be of accomplishments:
White Belt -- LaLa land neophytes recently planted into the world of gardening, can even spel gardening correctly and has read a Weeders Digest Gardening book or magazine other than Opra, Ann Loveluck, or the Martha Stewart.
Yellow Belt -- Can begin to identify deciduous plants vs. conifers. If owning plants, has planted them in the garden and has kept half of them alive through one garden season. Bad winters are no excuse.
Orange Belt -– Has begun to subscribe to Horticulture magazine and similar ilk. The gardener has begun to understand curves, triangles and reasons for the garden design and sometimes does it correctly.
Purple Belt -– The “Master Gardener” has kept all the exotic plants he or she has bought from mail order frauds alive for two years. They are beginning to understand death and disease in the garden. Mercy killing of problem purchases has begun.
Blue Belt – The gardener finally understands and has begun to propagate their own stock rather than buying from expensive Internet sources. I would call it the Perlite Belt myself. Believing that they now know it all, these Blue Belts begin to give expert advice at local box stores, or volunteer to be docents at “gardens of interest.” They even charge loot for the later.
Green Belt – Humility begins to set in and they realize that they do not know it all, regardless of the number of horticultural subscriptions. You now just concentrate on what you have. Advanced members may have Mood balls strategically placed in the garden, Face gardens and other such decor. Nonetheless, they know their bugs and diseases. They also begin to exercise serious potting ability and begin to throw exquisite creations around the garden.
Brown Belt – Most of their garden is photograph-able, showing if not full Wonderment, but something with excellent potential. Sometimes, this is black belt class. The owner allows the hired help some input into their designs, appreciating apprenticeships and lower rank potentials. At this point they begin to specialize – Bonsai, Koi ponds and water features, Rock gardens. They have finally understood all fertilizer, re- potting needs and choice of décor and pots. These "Master Gardeners" have also completed a serious Pest Applicators Licence.
Black Belt -- Even undressed, this rank understands all the climate zones of the garden. Has stood naked in all corners of the garden through a freezing night just to test the measure of their domain. Finger pinches cuttings, without anyone noticing, even in Botanical gardens or at the National Arboretum. Instinctive disease, fertilizer, watering control and can give a speech about
anything at a moments notice. Sometimes these guys are so chlorophyll loaded that they are viewed as being less than warm blooded. Intruders such as deer vanish upon hearing their soft footed but deadly appearance.
These would be the Darth Vaders of the Master Gardeners. To date, none have come knocking on my door. Romulans also had green blood!
Whatever garden belt level you are at, you are appreciated. Dropouts at most of those dojo’s are because the instructors did not understand the individual. All of us learn at different levels, some by example, others by text or by picture. They are all AHAH’S and we should remember that when we try to attract new members , no matter what club it may be. Please read the next post as I am equally critical of my own profession -- the Nursery Profession.
Editing this in the light of day I realize that I had erred. Belts like worn around Judo or Karate Gi's would not show up while sitting behind a desk at a Costco or Wallmart. Boy Scout Merit badges would be much more visible. Similar graduations from Tenderblister to GreenThumb Palm. I still remember those expensive Sashes. Simple belts such as worn in the "martial arts could also be worn in that fashion. I will bring the same idea up at our next Bonsai Group meeting. I think the membership would prefer the more cost-effective alternative. Nursery employees could be awarded colored scabers to hold their shears.
© 2009 Herb Senft
Has it become time to challenge that rank?
As the son of a German "Master Cabinet" maker I have always been astonished at the ease that Northwest gardeners manage to become “Masters" of a field, I have worked decades in, to attain the same ranking.
Most martial arts such as Judo and Karate have benchmarks for such “belts” or accomplished achievements. Aikido, I struggled with, same with Tai-Chi. It is my understanding that even the flower arts such as Ikebana have similar rankings. They are all standardized, to be learned, exhibited in shows and tested upon by curmudgeons such as my self.
Given the opportunity to practice latinic warfare on box store garden employees, this is one of the joys of my life -- but mostly I am left gasping. Nematodes, that they are selling in Feb. freezing weather. I complement them on their stocking but question the timing. The clerk answers – “What are Nematodes?” Comments made to plants that are wilting, or might be needing freeze protection. “Ya bud, That’s a problem, fur sure.”
I view these ignoramuses as being totally unredeemable. That said, I expect more of those participants in gardening who usually are intelligent and subscribe to the “MASTER GARDENER” badge.
These people should be avoided, or at best upgraded upon their weight or rank. Not wanting to get into percentage of body fat-- I still believe that their level of training or experience in gardening should be put to the test.
The criteria might be of accomplishments or simply a matter of political survival within the club. Being a possible V.P. of my Bonsai club I have come to see how tenuous that type of gardener Wassail test might be. Requirements should therefore be of accomplishments:
White Belt -- LaLa land neophytes recently planted into the world of gardening, can even spel gardening correctly and has read a Weeders Digest Gardening book or magazine other than Opra, Ann Loveluck, or the Martha Stewart.
Yellow Belt -- Can begin to identify deciduous plants vs. conifers. If owning plants, has planted them in the garden and has kept half of them alive through one garden season. Bad winters are no excuse.
Orange Belt -– Has begun to subscribe to Horticulture magazine and similar ilk. The gardener has begun to understand curves, triangles and reasons for the garden design and sometimes does it correctly.
Purple Belt -– The “Master Gardener” has kept all the exotic plants he or she has bought from mail order frauds alive for two years. They are beginning to understand death and disease in the garden. Mercy killing of problem purchases has begun.
Blue Belt – The gardener finally understands and has begun to propagate their own stock rather than buying from expensive Internet sources. I would call it the Perlite Belt myself. Believing that they now know it all, these Blue Belts begin to give expert advice at local box stores, or volunteer to be docents at “gardens of interest.” They even charge loot for the later.
Green Belt – Humility begins to set in and they realize that they do not know it all, regardless of the number of horticultural subscriptions. You now just concentrate on what you have. Advanced members may have Mood balls strategically placed in the garden, Face gardens and other such decor. Nonetheless, they know their bugs and diseases. They also begin to exercise serious potting ability and begin to throw exquisite creations around the garden.
Brown Belt – Most of their garden is photograph-able, showing if not full Wonderment, but something with excellent potential. Sometimes, this is black belt class. The owner allows the hired help some input into their designs, appreciating apprenticeships and lower rank potentials. At this point they begin to specialize – Bonsai, Koi ponds and water features, Rock gardens. They have finally understood all fertilizer, re- potting needs and choice of décor and pots. These "Master Gardeners" have also completed a serious Pest Applicators Licence.
Black Belt -- Even undressed, this rank understands all the climate zones of the garden. Has stood naked in all corners of the garden through a freezing night just to test the measure of their domain. Finger pinches cuttings, without anyone noticing, even in Botanical gardens or at the National Arboretum. Instinctive disease, fertilizer, watering control and can give a speech about
anything at a moments notice. Sometimes these guys are so chlorophyll loaded that they are viewed as being less than warm blooded. Intruders such as deer vanish upon hearing their soft footed but deadly appearance.
These would be the Darth Vaders of the Master Gardeners. To date, none have come knocking on my door. Romulans also had green blood!
Whatever garden belt level you are at, you are appreciated. Dropouts at most of those dojo’s are because the instructors did not understand the individual. All of us learn at different levels, some by example, others by text or by picture. They are all AHAH’S and we should remember that when we try to attract new members , no matter what club it may be. Please read the next post as I am equally critical of my own profession -- the Nursery Profession.
Editing this in the light of day I realize that I had erred. Belts like worn around Judo or Karate Gi's would not show up while sitting behind a desk at a Costco or Wallmart. Boy Scout Merit badges would be much more visible. Similar graduations from Tenderblister to GreenThumb Palm. I still remember those expensive Sashes. Simple belts such as worn in the "martial arts could also be worn in that fashion. I will bring the same idea up at our next Bonsai Group meeting. I think the membership would prefer the more cost-effective alternative. Nursery employees could be awarded colored scabers to hold their shears.
© 2009 Herb Senft
A former Boyscout, a green belt in Bonsai and a brown belt in Horticulture.
For my own candidate for a "Master Gardener" please visit "Remembrances." It is a reflection of one of a handful of exquisite gardeners I have been blessed to work for. Although Bita's garden was never on a tour, four other gardens I helped create have been so used. Annie Hofius, Ruth Doyle, the Miners and a recent bed and breakfast. I always find it sad, that the new owners do not mention the blood, sweat and bones that they had inherited, and from whom.
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